You are probably referring to the "look at" (or "point at") crosshair. This feature was designed by LL to debug the viewer (not for the end user) and got extended by some TPVs to also show the name of the avatar they belong to on each crosshair. I recently added the "name on crosshair" in my viewer (as well as
"look at" notification), but only with reciprocity (i.e. you can't see the name on the crosshair belonging to an avatar whose distance to yours is greater than the maximum "crosshair broadcast" distance you set for your own avatar): see
this message for details.
So, to summarize, you cannot do like with other TPVs which allow spying, since they allow you to stop broadcasting your look/point at data and yet permit you to see other avatars' with their name as well on the crosshair.
Your avatar crosshair is only seen by others if they enabled the "Show Look/Point at" feature in their own viewer.
You may also toggle those features in the Cool VL Viewer to see others' crosshair, via the "Advanced" menu, "Character" sub-menu ("Show look at" and "Show point at" entries).
"Preferences" floater, "Input & camera" tab, "Input controls" sub-tab, "Do not look/point at .... beyond:" check boxes, and associated distance spinners (which you could set to 0 to disable broadcasting entirely).
Note that it is not recommended to disable entirely the "look at" broadcasting, since it prevents your avatar from moving its head at all when it looks at some object, making your avatar look like a dress form or a statue... a 20m max distance (corresponding to the normal, chat interaction range) is a good choice.
Not sure what you mean... If it's an issue with mesh and/or textures loading, for other avatars simply right click on the mesh and select "More>" then "Refresh>" in the pie menu and, for your own avatar, right-click on the mesh to bring the pie menu and type CTRL SHIFT U.
If this does not solve your problem, provide a proper bug report in the
adequate forum, following
its rules to the letter.